I honestly don’t even know what to do anymore. I hate how I still care about you and i hate how you still consider me a best friend. It just makes it that much more difficult. The way you act around people and what you do and the way you do it is bothering me more than ever. You seem so ingenuine, so dumb, and so not like the person who was my best friend. You don’t even try now, yet you continue to try with people you used to claim to hate/just met/couldn’t give a crap about you. I don’t know what’s more pathetic, the fact that you try so hard with them or you’d rather try harder with them than with your own so-called best friend. I mean I guess I really shouldn’t be talking, I feel like I’ve become quite a loner. I feel like I have no friends even when I’m supposedly surrounded by them. I feel like I have no one to talk to even while I’m having a conversation and text messages to respond to. I feel like no one cares even when they tell me they do. I feel like I no longer have the energy, the drive, the care.
Anyways back to the original problem, what do I do with you exactly? I guess you could say that for now I’ll leave you in the back of my mine where you were before this post, and you can stay there for a while longer while I decide what to do with you, since apparently all the things I could think of before wasn’t good enough to avoid another situation like this.
What a great way to start off the new year.
1/5/11